Posts Tagged ‘humor’

Posted on September 22, 2011 - by Regina

KIDS . . . GOTTA LOVE ‘EM!

Kids really DO say the darndest things, and DO the darndest things. I can see why Art Linkletter thought to put together not only a book of kid-isms, but a television show!

Here are just a few of the ways my kids have defied not only gravity, but space, time, and sometimes good sense:

• There was the time my oldest daughter, Emily, in kindergarten, I believe, arrived home on the bus just MINUTES ahead of me. I can still picture me in my little car, speeding through the subdivision. I could SEE the bus, but couldn’t catch up with it! She found a safe place to hide, though, until we could roar up the driveway before the bus was even out of sight. She squeezed herself between the storm door and exterior door, and latched it. Oh, did I mention, the storm door was full-view glass? I have wished ever since that I’d had a camera with me that day.

• Then there was the time she forgot to get off the bus. When they got through all the stops with a substitute bus driver, here was tiny little Emily, shorter than the back of the seat in front of her, sitting patiently. “Where do you live, Emily?” to which she calmly replied, “Over by McDonalds.” We didn’t. But McDonalds was new in town, and was HER favorite place to go!

• Ellen managed to get stuck places, due to her penchant for climbing, etc. As soon as she could climb onto my mom’s dining room chairs, she would jump off, flat on her bottom, onto the hardwood floors. Ouch. Then she found the three steps from our kitchen to our den. Yep. She cleared them every time by the time she was three! One of the funniest things was when she got stuck in her doll stroller. She was screaming, and I was running for the camera . . . .

• One of the favorite things my girls ever said to me was this, though. “Take a grip, Mom.” After I stopped laughing, I did.

When I want to have a good time, I just talk to my girls. We usually laugh a lot, usually tease, usually get some pretty good zingers in . . . and they’re my pride and joy! I love watching them grow up . . . and believe me, they’re STILL coming up with funny stories that we’ll share for years to come!

Sorry for the delay in posting!

Posted on September 11, 2011 - by Lorna Seilstad

How Kids Define Love

Humor is infectious. Whether its a chuckle, a giggle, or a chortle, when you hear someone laugh, it’s hard not to join in. Can you imagine a television comedy without a laugh track?

But did you know that laughter has other benefits as well. Researchers say it relieves stress, binds people together, increases happiness, and creates intimacy. Here are some of the health benefits of laughter:

• Laughter releases endorphins, the natural feel-good chemical.
• Laughter makes the body relax.
• Laughter boosts the immune system.
• Laughter protects the heart.

This should come as no surprise, since the Bible recommends it. According to Prov. 17:22, “A cheerful heart is good medicine.”

So join us in the next two weeks as we bring you things that will tickle your funny bone. And remember it’s not a waste of time, it’s good for you.

Kids Define Love

A group of professionals posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, “What does love mean?”

The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:

“When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn’t bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That’s love.” – Rebecca – age 8

“When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.” – Billy – age 4

“Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.” – Karl – age 5

“Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.” – Chrissy – age 6

“Love is what makes you smile when you’re tired.” - Terri – age 4

“Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.” – Danny – age 7

“Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss.” – Emily – age 8

“Love is what’s in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.” – Bobby – age 7

“If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate.” – Nikka – age 6 (we need a few million more Nikkas on this planet)

“Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.” – Noelle – age 7

“Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.” – Tommy – age 6

“During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn’t scared anymore.” – Cindy – age 8

“My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don’t see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.” – Clare – age 6

“Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.” – Elaine-age 5

“Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.” – Chris – age 7

“Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.” – Mary Ann – age 4

“I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.” – Lauren – age 4

“When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.”- Karen – age 7

“Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn’t think it’s gross.” – Mark – age 6

“You really shouldn’t say ‘I love you’ unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.” – Jessica – age 8

Saved the Best for Last

Leo Buscaglia, author and lecturer, once judged a contest where they wanted to find the most caring child. He told this story:

A four year old lived next door to an elderly man who had recently lost his wife. One day, the boy saw his neighbor crying. He went over, climbed into the neighbor’s lap and just sat there. When he came home, his mother asked him what he had said to the man. “Nothing,” he said. “I just helped him cry.”

I hope you laughed a bit at the children’s answers. Have you heard children ever give a similiar answer to this question? Which response was your favorite?

Posted on May 26, 2011 - by Shari Barr

THOSE TALENTED PETS

Need a little help with your free throws? Maybe you need Grace the mule on your team. Nope, that’s not a typo.  Grace is a real live mule who shoots hoops with her snout and can dunk with the best of them. Her owner, Steve Foster, not only taught her to play basketball, but she also plays a mean game of catch.

Sports aren’t her only talents. She paints, plays the piano, gets the mail and greets visitors with a hoofshake when she’s not practicing simple multiplication. Yes, that’s right, she also knows her math. Maybe she’s so smart because she knows what’s important in life. Grace lives up to her name by kneeling for prayer.

Look for Grace in her feature film Get Low.

Mules aren’t the only large, four-legged farm animals to show off their athletic abilities. When 15-year-old Regina Mayer’s parents wouldn’t let her get a horse, she compensated by training the only animal she had on hand—her cow Luna.

Luna has proved to be an exceptional student. In fact, this special cow from Germany thinks she’s a horse, jumping crates and logs and following simple commands like “go,” “gallop” and “stand”—if she’s in the mood. Luna won’t win any popularity contests with the other cows since they don’t like her. Maybe they’re a bit jealous because she gets all the treats.

Man’s best friend can’t be left out when it comes to sports. Mike Schelin, a motocross bike rider from Perris, California, has a racing partner that turns people’s heads. Since his Australian Shepherd, Opee, doesn’t like dust in his eyes, Mike fitted him with goggles and a helmet, and now the pooch is good to go, sitting on the tank with him. The two have travelled around the country, finishing the Baja 500 in less than 18 hours, ahead of half the other competitors. They’ve also competed in countless other races, many on the western coast. Mike says he doesn’t race fast enough unless Opee is with him for support.

Mike knew his dog was special, but he didn’t realize how much, until they began visiting children in hospitals. “Nothing makes me happier than to see the smiles Opee puts on kids’ faces when we visit them,” Mike says.

If you have a pet that inspires you or others, we’d love to hear about it.

Posted on February 11, 2010 - by Regina

HAPPY ENDINGS

What do you get when you mix a wedding planner determined to live up to her “Happy Endings, Inc.” name by planning the perfect wedding, and a groom who is legally bound to lie to her – all the while becoming more and more attracted to her?

You get Kaye Dacus’ Stand-In Groom. As the subtitle suggests, “Planning This Wedding will be No Honeymoon.”

In her contemporary romantic debut, Kaye brings us the first of three adventures in the “Brides of Bonterre” Series, set in Louisiana and focused on the large Guidry family of brothers, sisters, and cousins. This one is centered on wedding-planner-extraordinaire Anne Hawthorne, cousin to the Guidry clan, who is reluctantly attracted to tall, attractive, and British George Laurence.

Throughout the book there are questions. What will Anne think when she finds out the reason for George’s lies? Why does George not act like the usual enamored bridegroom? Will it mean the end of Anne’s professional reputation if she falls for the groom? Will George risk his career to have, and to keep, the woman he loves? And finally, will Anne overcome her greatest fear to find enduring happiness?

While it was the cover and title that drew me initially, I couldn’t put it down once started.  The romance, the family connections that will remind you of many of your own, and that deliciously off-kilter feeling of being in love, vicariously, through wonderfully-developed characters—they all come together in a story that will keep you within the pages. As compelling as the book was, it kept drawing me in until those last few chapters that had me reading at full speed because I couldn’t WAIT to see how it ended. Then I had to go back and read different parts slowly, to savor every word!

Some of the authors recently reviewed on Inkspirational Messages are tagged on the cover of Stand-In Groom. M.L. Tydall said, “Absolutely delightful! I found myself laughing, crying, and rejoicing right along with the characters.” Mary Connealy wrote, “Stand-In Groom is as sweet, beautiful, and chaotic as a perfectly planned wedding.” 

I couldn’t agree more.

The “Brides of Bonterre” series continues with Menu for Romance, which features the tenuous romance between event planner Meredith Guidry and her head chef, and then concludes with the story of lawyer Forbes Guidry, whom we met in Stand-In Groom, in the recently released A Case for Love.

Kaye is also the author of Ransome’s Honor, book one of “The Ransome Trilogy” set around the Royal Navy in Regency England. Book two, Ransome’s Crossing, will be out summer 2010.  Little Whispers of Comfort for Busy Women, a gift book in the “Life’s Little Books of Wisdom” series is recently available, and the first in her contemporary “Matchmakers” series, Love Remains, is due to come out later in 2010.

 If you like your fiction with humor, tenderness, and those irritating relatives that you can’t help but love, then Stand-In Groom is a must-read. Then, once you’ve read that one, you’ll be like me, chomping at the bit to get your hands on the rest of the series!

 If you’d like to keep up with Kaye Dacus, check out her website!

Posted on January 19, 2010 - by Shannon Vannatter

The Addict

I wrote this little ditty five years into my writing journey (Spring 2005). I thought we could all use a giggle about now. I know the topic isn’t writing this time, but since everyone hanging out here is pretty much writers, I thought this would warm any writer’s heart.

 

            As tax time lurks just around the corner, I find myself curious how the numbers add up this year. I dig through my numerous receipts, and become alarmed at the cost of the addiction.

Paper                                       $126.53

Print Cartridges                          $543.29

Postage                                    $  89.04

            The numbers multiply. Envelopes, labels, and writing magazines. The figures blur before my weary eyes. Books on writing, market guides, and group dues. It’s worse than imagined. Conferences, hotel accommodations, and contest entries. Whew! For a grand total of $1,395.46. That can’t be right. A quick rerun of the figures testifies to the truth.

            Well, I took in some income. I dig through the receipts again. Ah, here they are.

Book Sales                               $  39.00

Contest Wins                            $  85.00

            Panic begins to rise. That can’t be all. It just can’t be. A frantic search for more revenue yields nothing. Twelve month’s worth of imagination, creativity, and passion add up to a whopping $124.00, leaving me in the hole $1,271.46. Unbelievable, but the numbers don’t lie. Add to them my twenty-one rejection letters for the year and despair overwhelms me.

            I bury my face in my hands and bash my exposed forehead on my profitless keyboard. As the keys embed themselves in my brow, my head begins to throb. Sweat begins to bead on my upper lip and my favorite addict surfaces, the eternal optimist.

            “There’s still a few months left in the year to turn this downward trend around,” the addict insists. “Think positive.”

            I fall for her trick and begin a mental list. This year saw the completion of a seventh novel, beginning of an eighth, the crafting of ten essays, and three short stories. I honed my query, synopsis, and proposal, leapt into countless character’s heads and lived vicariously through them. Though often, relief overwhelmed me at landing back in my office.

            Wait, there’s more. Eighteen writers’ group meetings and four conferences attended. Out of thirty-one contests entered, my office wall boasts seven awards. I quickly remind myself of my published Print on Demand novel, proof that I once achieved the elusive prize.

            My crowning moment came a few months ago when a major publisher requested the manuscript for two of my novels. Even though two more rejections resulted, I’ve thoroughly enjoyed approximately 1424 hours of writing this year.

            With anticipation, my fingers flex as the addict completely takes over. She tugs at me until I lift my face from the keys, and pull myself together to stare at the lit screen, which calls to me at all hours. No, the daunting monetary figures and countless rejection letters of my five-year habit will never quench the fire burning within.

            Keeping the dream alive, my fingers dance over my priceless keyboard and once again I compose word after word. The natural high forces the meaningless numbers from my adrenalin-charged brain.

            Five years later: Glory hallelujah! Praise God for turning my downward trend around! Colossians 3, “And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men . . .”

How costly and rewarding has your habit been?