Only child checking in. I know the birth order traits aren’t set in stone and that no one will have all the traits. But I kind of took a birth order test when Lorna talked about it on Seekerville and it was fun. So, here goes.
*Create imaginary companions
I did have imaginary companions. But mine weren’t the typical imaginary friend. And they never came to life until my tween years. I created stories to act out in my head. Since I watched a lot of detective shows, I was always the damsel in distress and my imaginary companion was my hero. I also included whoever my best friend was at the time and her hero as side characters in my stories.
One story stayed with me for a while. It got longer and more complicated. For years, I’d tweak it and add twists. I thought it was a movie, but I didn’t want to go to Hollywood. When I finally met my real-life hero, I put the story away and lived my own.
When I was in my thirties, I finally realized that long ago story could be a book. It was the first book I wrote, got fifty-two rejections, but eventually became my 8th published book.
*Struggle with frustration
Nope. I’m pretty optimistic and generally happy. If I have something to worry about or that frustrates me, I usually forget to worry or be frustrated.
Nope. I wish I was independent. But I’m so not. I’m totally happy right where I am.
*Spiritually want to settle issues of right and wrong
Yes. Oh yes. There is no gray with me. It’s black or white. If the Bible says it’s wrong, it’s wrong. Period.
*Strengths—demonstrative, organized, clarity of purpose, stable, academically successful, self-confident
I’m physically demonstrative to the point that my son often begs me to stop kissing him when I tuck him in at night. Don’t tell anybody I still do that. He’d be so embarrassed. And I beg him to sit in my lap. Even though he’s twelve and smashes the life out of me when he occasionally gives in.
My husband and I hug a lot. There’s just nothing like a good hug. Stress reliever, love, and comfort rolled up in one gesture. Love it.
I’m so unorganized, it’s not even funny. In my opinion, it takes too long to organize stuff. I just dig through ‘til I find what I need and do it.
I’m stable. If I say I’ll do something, I do it. Period. Even if I don’t want to.
I have clarity of purpose. Once I set a goal, I never give up. I’m like a snapping turtle. I. Don’t. Let. Go. That helped a lot during the nine and a half years, I tried to get published.
I always had good grades. Even though every subject in school bored me to tears. Bad grades embarrassed me. And even though my parents didn’t stress good grades, I didn’t want to face them with bad ones.
Self-confident? Sometimes. Depends on if I feel like I’m in my zone. Writing and church – yes. In a room full of strangers not based around either topic – no.
I was painfully shy all through school and years later I learned others thought I was stuck up because I never talked. Cosmetology school snapped me out of my shyness. I realized it was more uncomfortable to spend 30 minutes cutting someone’s hair and not talking than to make conversation during a haircut. But I still crawl inside myself if I’m around people I don’t know.
Booksignings are a wonderful kind of torture for me. I love talking to readers, but I have to force myself to crawl out of my shell and talk to people I don’t know.
*Weaknesses—sullen, reluctant to share, not street smart
I’m not sullen. I’d much rather talk it out if something’s bothering me.
I’m not reluctant to share. My feelings, my opinion, or my stuff. My mom was so determined I wouldn’t be selfish, she really worked at teaching me to share. To the point that I gave my toys away.
I’m so not street smart. I’d never make it in a big city. I don’t even drive in big cities. I’m way too trusting. I look for good in people and I’m very naive. God knew what He was doing when He paved the way for my parents to move from a suburb of Atlanta, GA back to their hometown in rural Arkansas when I was twelve.
*Gets mad when being intruded on
I don’t get mad when intruded on. But I don’t mind being alone. I can totally entertain myself and sometimes, I just need some down time. If we’ve had a busy week of go, go, go—I need a night or two to just be home. If hubby and son want to keep going, I’m fine with that. I let them go and stay home alone.
*Qualities—prefer to work alone, extremely responsible or very helpless, stubborn, comfortable being the center of attention, stays on the beaten path
I do prefer to work alone. When I worked in an office setting, I loved my little cubicle. I wished everyone would stay out of it, so I could just do my job. Later, I graduated to an office. I really loved that.
I love brainstorming sessions with other writers, but I can’t imagine co-authoring with someone else. I think that would drive me nuts. A novella collection with other authors would work. But I want to write my own story. By. Myself.
I’m extremely responsible. If I say I’ll do it, I will. And if I mess up, I’ll take responsibility for my mess up. I’m not helpless. Dependent, but not helpless.
I’m stubborn. I really, really want my way. And I don’t understand why everybody else can’t see that I’m right and just let me have my way. Being stubborn helped in my pursuit of publication helped too. I. Don’t. Give. Up.
I’m so uncomfortable being the center of attention. It makes me want to melt through the floor.
I do stay on the beaten path. I’m definitely a follower, not a leader.
I went a little more in depth here and it was fun. On a final note, I liked being an only child. My parents didn’t go overboard or spoil me, but if anybody got anything, it was me. I had my own room and plenty of privacy. As an adult, sometimes I think a sibling would be nice. Like when I planned and paid for my parent’s fiftieth anniversary by myself. As my parents age, a sibling would probably come in handy. They’re still in great health, but someday, it’ll just be me taking care of them.
When I was a hairdresser, I noticed a few things about families with several children. Either the older ones took care of the younger ones and had to grow up. Or the baby got all the attention and the older children were neglected. Not in every family, but these observations helped me to decide that I I’d pass the only child thing on to my child.
So, I’m raising an only child. He got to be the baby as long as he wanted to be and he’s the center of attention. We don’t go overboard or spoil him. But my parent’s work hard at compensating for us since he’s the only grandchild ever.
Chime in only children. Did you like it? Or were you lonely? Did you long for a sibling? Or were you glad to go it alone?
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