Posted on March 6, 2013 - by Brenda Anderson
When God’s Answer is Not Yet …
In January of 1997 my husband and I were living in Moorhead, Minnesota (the city right across the Red River from Fargo, North Dakota). We had three small children (4, 2, and almost 1), and were three and a half hours away from the Twin Cities area where our families lived. It’s not a bad drive, but it’s not fun with three small children. In addition, all the friends I had made in the seven years of living in the FM area had moved away.
Then my husband received news we’d been hoping and praying for: he was offered a new and better position in Brooklyn Park, MN, a northern suburb of Minneapolis. Obviously, we were thrilled.
The job location was perfect, only minutes from Marv’s parents’ home. He could stay there until our house sold. Keeping our home toy clutter-free wouldn’t be so bad as long as the house sold quickly.
And that became my daily prayer, that our house would sell.
There were a few problems with that. First of all, that winter was a doozy. We had eight freeway-closing, school-closing (a rarity) blizzards that dropped a total of 117 inches of snow. Who’s looking to buy a home in that? Four of those blizzards occurred after my husband moved to the Twin Cities. Still, he made it home every weekend.
Then, along with that record snowfall, came the threat of flooding. A 100-year flood was forecast. Again, people weren’t exactly in the moving mood. That threat became reality as water not only spilled over the banks of the Red River that April, but also crept inland across the flat farmlands. Homes miles away from the river were swamped. (See photos <here>)
We lived a mere block and a half away from the river. A new daily prayer was added, that our home would survive.
With the water table so high, we removed the basement toilet and plugged that hole as well as the basement tub drain. That doesn’t give prospective home buyers a good first impression.
I remember listening to the radio nightly as the announcers would plead for more sandbaggers to dam a broken levy or to build taller levies where water climbed higher than expected. At one point the announcers warned the entire area that if we heard sirens, we were to evacuate immediately.
All this was happening with my husband 220 miles away. I called him that night of the warning and begged him to come home. That drive took him down I-94 where, for miles, ditch water was licking at the freeway.
The waters eventually receded, and our home was spared, but now it was May, and our home had been on the market for three months. A definite negative for home buyers. But I continued to pray that our house would sell, that God would bring our family back together.
Well, summer came then said goodbye, then fall swept in, and then another winter. We were beginning to believe our prayers would never be answered.
The stress of keeping a house immaculate with three toddlers was overwhelming, especially without local friend support, so that December of 1997 we took the house off the market. I wanted to enjoy Christmas. I wanted the kids to be able to play and make a mess. I wanted them to be able to be kids.
Shortly after Christmas, we listed the house again and our prayers were more fervent than ever. Finally, weeks later, we received one contingency offer, then another non-contingency.
14 months of keeping toys picked up–14 months apart from my husband, of him driving back and forth amid rain, snow, ice–14 months of being alone with three small children. After 14 months of praying, we finally put out that Sold sign.
Why we had to wait that long, I doubt I’ll ever know, but I did learn from the experience.
* Knowing *why* you have to wait isn’t a given. Sure, God has His reasons, but we’re not owed an answer. But, God does know what’s best for you, and He’ll walk you through this season.
* Don’t give up. Over 3000 years ago, the Israelites fled from Egypt, aimed for the promised land–their new home. A trip that should have taken days turned into 40 years of wandering–and then, with the exception of Joshua and Caleb, only the children and grandchildren reached the new home. The point is, they never stopped. They didn’t give up. The 23rd Psalm says, “Yeah, though I walk through the valley …” They were in the valley, but kept on moving and eventually came through it. When you are ensconced in that season of waiting, keep moving. During our wait, we were discouraged, but that didn’t stop us from living life, and life certainly didn’t stop around us.
* Expect a roller coaster ride. The Israelites desert wandering offered moments of hope and times of despair. While you’re waiting, expect it to be a roller coaster ride. Expect to see those glimmers of hope that are snatched away by defeat. Expect daylight and tunnels of darkness before eventually arriving at your destination.
* The answer may look far different than you anticipated. Those same Israelites awaited the Messiah for centuries, but when He did come, they didn’t recognize him. Jesus wasn’t the majestic, warrior king they expected, and they rejected Him. Your waiting season will end, but keep listening, and be prepared for the unexpected answer. While we eventually received the hoped-for answer, that wasn’t a guarantee.
I’m in another waiting season right now, waiting for an answer from an agent, but I refuse to sit still. I had high hopes at one point, but then they were snatched away. So I wait. And I keep writing and editing. I plan to enter contests and query more agents. When this wait is finally over, I pray I will recognize God’s answer.
Are you in a waiting season? Have you previously experienced a tough waiting period? I’d love to hear about it.
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March 6, 2013
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Rose Ross Zediker said:
Brenda,
I remember that flooding in North Dakota. I had some SCBWI writer friends that lived in the Red Cross homes because their house was flooded.
Right now I’m not in a waiting game, but I’ve been there before. The key to waiting for me is trust…trusting God is working everything out.
That doesn’t mean I haven’t felt like giving up, but like you, I just continue forward movement.
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March 6, 2013
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Dawn Ford said:
I’m right there beside you waiting. And trying to keep up the pace of doing something in the meanwhile. I don’t know when this waiting will be over, but I continue to learn and believe there is something positive that will come out of it all.
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March 6, 2013
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Kav said:
I think God has created five seasons — spring, summer, autumn, winter and waiting! I’ve been stuck in the waiting season in many aspects of my life for what seems like forever!!!!
In effect you were a single mom with three kids those fourteen months, weren’t you? That’s hard. And it had to be hard on your husband as well to be away from all of you so much of the time. Glad God saw you through that season.
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March 6, 2013
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Sharyn Hasselbring said:
Loved the way you wrote that for us….that’s really having to wait. Also, I liked the reminder about the Israelites…..they had to wait so long. We know God’s in control so we put one foot ahead of the other and keep praying and enjoying the good He gives each day.
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March 6, 2013
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Debbie said:
Waiting…such a part of our lives, but yet so very hard to do. Who among us doesn’t remember how hard it was to wait to open those Christmas presents, or birthday presents? As we get older, the wait is often longer, and the stakes higher. But, while we might not understand the wait, or the length of the wait (as in your case), God know when the time is right to put our waiting to an end. For me, waiting comes every time I have yet another biopsy, and I have to wait that 1 week for results. Waiting also came as I waited until I was almost 50 to find the love of my life. When I find myself in the waiting realm, I turn my attention to prayer and self-reflection. I remember Pastor Blair used to talk about how God has 4 answers to prayer: No, Not now, Go slow, and Go for it. So, when I’m waiting, I pray that I will see the answer when it comes.
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March 6, 2013
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Shari Barr said:
Brenda, I’ve played that waiting game before, too, in several areas of my life. When I’ve wondered “why”, sometimes all I could come up with was that it really made me trust and keep the faith. And that’s definitely a good thing.
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Brenda Anderson said:
@Rose – You’re right. Trust is the key to surviving the wait.
@Dawn – Belief that something good will come out of waiting … sounds like the trust Rose talked about.
@Kav – Believe me, having gone through that, I have great admiration for the single parent. I’m blessed that it was temporary for me.
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Brenda Anderson said:
Hi Sharyn – thank you for stopping by! You said it perfectly, “We know God’s in control so we put one foot ahead of the other and keep praying and enjoying the good He gives each day.”
Hi Debbie – God’s timing is perfect, isn’t it? Whether we like the wait or not.
I don’t remember Pr. Blair saying “No, Not now, Go slow, and Go for it”, but now it’s going next to my computer. Thanks for stopping by!
@Shari – The waiting season really does make you trust. When everything else is stripped away, that’s what’s left.
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March 6, 2013
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Lorna Seilstad said:
Brenda, I remember that flood season well. I remember driving up to the farm afterwards and seeing all the devastation the floods had left and how high the water mark was on the houses and buildings. I can only imagine your fears and concerns as you faced it with your husband so far away.
I so admire your attitude about waiting. You’re trust in the Lord’s plan for you is so encouraging, and I know God does have a special plan for you.
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March 6, 2013
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Nicole said:
If I had to pick the number one difficulty in God’s plans for me it would be waiting. No good at it so it’s been forced upon me in every season of life. In a way it’s like developing trust through the “What else have ya got, girl?” I’ve got nothin’, so waiting is it. One thing about waiting: if “it” never meant that much to you or isn’t/wasn’t in The Plan, the longing will erode.
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March 6, 2013
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Stacy said:
Wow, that was a waiting period with lots of extra obstacles, Brenda. Life is one big waiting game, isn’t it? Waiting for Jesus to return. But in the meantime, I like your “keep moving” attitude.
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March 6, 2013
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Brenda Anderson said:
@Lorna – I forgot that your husband’s family was from ND. It was unreal how much of that Red River Valley was affected that year. We were very fortunate to have escaped damage.
@Nicole – You’re so right. If what we’re waiting for isn’t what He wants, the longing will fade. I suppose it’s a good sign when the longing doesn’t go away.
@Stacy – So much of the Bible talks about waiting. Look at what Joseph went through before his dreams came true.
Today’s I-want-it-now culture only enhances our impatience.
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March 7, 2013
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Gary Bryant said:
Why you had to wait that long? You answered it yourself! You said that you learned from the experience, and I’m sure God had things he wanted you to learn. But that waiting will never be easy for us. We’re waiting (and especially praying) for Jeremy to figure out that there are reasons for the demands and responsibilities of life.