Posted on January 31, 2012 - by Shannon Vannatter
Charity–Love Put into Action
I Corinthians, 13: 4, “Charity suffereth long, and is kind;” KJV
Charity is love in action. Love in action is kind. To me, being kind in marriage is to think of the other person’s feelings. When I’m tired, stressed, or have a headache, it’s easy to take my discomfort or displeasure out on my husband. I mean, he’s not going anywhere. Even more reason to be kind. God gave me someone who sticks with me through thick and thin. He deserves my kindness.
If my husband is having a bad day or a problem at work, I try to support him, think of his feelings, and help get him through it. Now that he’s a full time pastor, at least he has fewer irritants. We have so much more together time and family time. A blessing, but it’s even easier to take our frustrations out on each other since we spend more time together.
Kindness is a good rule for life in general. Maybe the lady behind you at the grocery store with ten items in her cart scowled at you. You figure because your cart is loaded down and it takes too long for the cashier to ring up your items, even though your cart was half unloaded before the scowling lady got behind you. But consider what her life might be like. Maybe she has three kids at home and only enough money to pay for the ten items in her cart.
I learned this lesson of putting myself in other’s shoes a few years ago. I traveled with several people to a convention. One lady bragged about everything she and her children had done for the entire hour and a half long drive. After we dropped her off on the way home, I commented, “Is it just me or did she invent everything and if she didn’t, her kids did?”
A kinder lady than I, replied, “Maybe she has low self esteem, so she tries to build herself up in other’s eyes.”
Knocked me off my high horse. I felt about an inch tall. But I learned my lesson.
My son consistently complains about a kid in his life. The child experienced a life altering incident several years ago. When my son complains, I remind him what the other child has been through and ask him how he’d feel if that happened to him. Yes the child probably needs a spanking and nobody does it. Instead, they coddle because of what happened, but my son can still be kind.
So the next time, your spouse comes home railing about his or her day, the guy behind you lays down on his horn because you didn’t put the pedal to the metal as soon as the light changed, or the bank puts your deposit in the wrong account, try putting yourself in the other person’s place. Aren’t you glad you don’t have your spouse’s job? Maybe the guy behind you is taking his wife to the hospital because she’s in labor. Maybe the bank clerk is distracted because her sick child is with the babysitter instead of Mommy. Or maybe they’re just grumpy. Even so, love in action is kindness.
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January 31, 2012
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Kav said:
Love this, Shannon. I like the idea of ‘putting yourself in the other person’s place’. Imagine the story possibilities that could come out of that! And all from an exercise in kindness!
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January 31, 2012
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Dawn Ford said:
Great reminder, Shannon! I do try to remember it, but I think sometimes I get so caught up in my own life and what I’m doing I get blind to others plight. It’s always good to stop and see something from another perspective!
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January 31, 2012
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Brenda Anderson said:
Very wise, Shannon. “Try putting yourself in the other person’s place.” Those are the same words I tell my kids when they talk about others misbehaving at school. They’re the very words I remind myself of when dealing with cranky people. I figure the best gift I can give a stranger is a smile.
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January 31, 2012
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Shannon Taylor Vannatter said:
Kav, definite story possibilities.
Don’t get me wrong, it doesn’t come naturally to put myself in someone else’s shoes. I often have to push aside my frustration to do it.
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February 1, 2012
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Marianne said:
Great reminder…Thanks. and i love that Charity is love in action. Love in action is kind!
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February 1, 2012
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Regina Merrick said:
Great post, Shannon – Grant should use it for a sermon someday!
Love in action is sometimes VERY difficult, but sometimes just taking a deep breath and realizing that it’s NOT all about me is all it takes. Thanks for the reminder!
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February 1, 2012
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Shannon Taylor Vannatter said:
Marianne,
Glad you enjoyed the post. I had a horrible headache when I wrote it and felt like it came out in a jumble.
Regina,
Yes, I have to tell myself that a lot. It’s not all about me. I guess it’s the only child syndrome. He actually already used it in a sermon, but he had a different take on it.
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February 2, 2012
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Lorna said:
Shannon, I read this the other day, but forgot to post about it. I really like how you are teaching your son about love and grace. If more parents would constantly remind their children about stepping into the other person’s shoes, the world would be a better place.